Present Moment Reflections: How Simple Suffering Can Be

Cole Schafer

Please note: I've attached a link to a song by Ray LaMontagne at the bottom of this blog that probably expresses more clearly what I've written ;)

I am sitting here feeling compelled to write, but without knowing what to write about.

Now I am smiling. Smiling at how familiar it is finding myself focusing on everything but how blessed I and those closest to me are. Thinking about what I have done, not done, or I should be doing. I smile as so often the shift from ruminating or worrying to a deep appreciation of the present takes no more than a breath.

Shelley, my partner, and I have been talking about going into private practice together for years. It was a nice fantasy. Talking to her I'd escape into the future and feel confident and accomplishment, believing “I'll be happy when…”. Well, here we are and I don’t feel particularly confident or accomplished, at least not as often as I’d like. Yet, when I pause, those feelings of confidence and accomplishment come so easily Maybe I have those feelings in me, but forget to bring my attention to them (I'll add I easily forget to see it in myself, but my default is to see Shelley as confident and accomplished, funny).

I don’t mean to minimize the suffering we all (myself included) go through by saying sometimes all it takes to alleviate some suffering is bringing our attention to the present...but maybe I am. Despite years of mindfulness and yoga practice I still forget.

It has taken time and work (and practicing how to not work so hard) for me to see most of my necessary suffering in this way. I went through years of 12 step programs, daily yoga, and counselling. At the time the words I used to describe my suffering were (to name a few) addiction, trauma, and anxiety and depression.

Right now, I am liking the simplicity of viewing my suffering as forgetting to come into the present. And there, I've done it again. In my head, pontificating and writing.

Again, I forgot to be in the present. And again, I focus on my breath, remembering my supportive wife and wide eyed daughter, and I'm smiling.

Be here now

Be here now

Be here now

- Ray LaMontagne

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBSnR4ZP2MI